Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I can't think of a witty title.

I know I said I would keep up with weekly posts and I’ll admit I’ve been… oh how to put this delicately… sucking it up! You’d think with currently not being employed I’d have all the time in the world to write a simple blog. This however isn’t the case; I’ll admit lately I have been up late in the evening, watching a DVD, playing Fallout 3, or simply reading. And despite what my friends and family have seen or think, I haven’t just been living in my basement playing Xbox. I do other things like i have been out and about trying to find places I would like to work at. So far I've been drawing up blanks, then I tend to get lost in my thoughts. During the day I tend to wake up round 10am, and do a little cleaning and sit down to figure out where I want to go from my current position to the next… Being unemployed has given me the opportunity to kind of start over if you will. Where do I go from here…? I would love to finish school, but to what degree? Just get my associates? Continue past that and graduate? Or go to an independent school to learn a trade? Find a job that I can turn into a career? I don’t know? I feel overwhelmed, like I’m standing in the middle of a fog storm knowing that every direction around me is an exit to the clearing. But is the direction I choose the heading of where I want to be when I clear the fog. There’s so much I want to do, see, and accomplish in my life. How do you decide where to start without becoming stuck and everything you want in life to become just a hopeless dream? I guess what I’m saying is while walking through the fog, will I “accidentally” trip on a rock and start walking in a different direction than I intended and be happy with the outcome; The rock in this metaphor being a hint at fate. I know that there isn’t such a thing exactly as fate, being that we have free agency. But I do believe that when we are stuck or have gotten too stubborn with the direction we’ve chosen that the powers that be will send you hint at the way out to a better outcome, but only when you are ready for it. Whether you take that hint or just ignore it is up to you. I just hope it isn’t much longer till I get pointed in the right direction.

5 comments:

The Gramber Bies said...

Hey I'm all for the message therapy idea. Then between you, Allysen, and Kimberly I can have my own personaly Day Spa!!! Nails, Lazer Hair removal/facials, and Messages!! Can life get any better? Maybe I can convince Grant to learn hair....

The Wettstein Family said...

Ah, yes, I remember standing at the water cooler of life. Sometimes you trip over a rock without even knowing it. Maybe you already have. Finishing school is always a good idea. It will open more doors for you in the long run. Massage school would be good too, and if you don't like it, you can always change. The choices you are making now won't stop you from progressing as long as you MAKE the choice. Start taking some classes, and you may just find your niche.

Laura Howard said...

When Peter was laid off from his IT job he kind of went through the same thing you are going through now. He practically did a 180 and went from computers to forestry. I have only recently realized what I truly want do with my life and I'm going back to school. As long as you are moving forward and pursuing your interests, you may find what your true passion is. I definitely think finishing school is the right idea, though.

Sara said...

oh jason dear, thanks for that heartfelt post- this moment in your life is definitely a turning point or crossroads, and now i will try not to sound too motherly...

you are super talented in so many areas-
art
photography
humor
techi nerdy stuff
writing (especially media reviews)
perhaps even massage, but i'll leave that to the lady folk to determine:)

you must never underestimate the asset of an education and degree. you will get much further and be paid much more for investing in your acquisition of knowledge. that being said, there are those lucky few that fall into something without a degree and are very successful. but the thing any successful person has in common is GOOD WORK ETHIC. we can't get anywhere by knitting, watching old french movies and eating dark chocolate...i've tried.

the other key is to PRAY! Chris and i have made a lot of turns and moves throughout our marriage as you know, and none of these decisions could be made without hard fervent prayer. God knows you best, and may lead you to something or somewhere you never thought of. i know he has something in store for you, just as he does for us, and it can be frustrating and discouraging playing the waiting game. in the mean time, get a job anywhere so that you are not idle, apply for school and finish up that associates degree, and then from there- the sky's the limit!

the fog will eventually lift, but for that to happen we must all have faith, work hard, and step forward... just don't put your brights on, because that makes it hard to see...

end scene:)

Aaron Allen said...

I think going back to school would be a great start. It would open you up to new ideas, new paths, new people (not that the people you're hanging out with now aren't any good -- that Aaron bloke is a wise ol' sea dog).